A digital journal to aid in healing and recovery from a relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner.
In response to message posted by Hermes:
My heart goes out to you in your recovery. Grieving the loss of a relationship with a N has many layers. They are not the usual layers of grieving a healthy person. The problem is that some of the layers ARE the same as grieving a healthy person but then there are layers reserved only for the loss of a N relationship, which are not understood by the 'civilian' population and can ONLY be understood by those who have survived a significant relationship with a N.
In a healthy relationship break-up one grieves:
Those are typical feelings that can come up after a break-up of a healthy relationship.
But grieving a N there are other ingredients, not available to the public understanding, such as:
Grieving a N is a burden, it's a hole in one's life.
Love, Nicky
Posts
What I've realized is that NPDs often see kindness as weakness. Those who are "kind" to them they find contemptible and treat them with cruelty. Such is the case with my husband. They nicer I am to him, the meaner his actions towards me and the less respect he shows me. However, if someone is mean to them, they seek their approval, attempt to "passify them" and show them respect. My husband's ex-wife is a NPD as well. They have a daughter together. The ex-wife makes up lies to punish my husband and has even put him in jail on at least two occasions on lies regarding child support payment (despite receiving them). My husband shows this woman respect despite saying he loathes her and when she says "jump" he responds "how high", under the pending threat of jail (he says). Regardless of whether it is fear or not, this emotion appears to mimic "love" and "respect" with the NPD sociopath. He actually rationalizes his actions towards her (that normal people would view as good) as "mean". He says because he does not do "EVERYTHING" she says, he is mean to her and because he is married to me. I can't get him to do anything at all with kindness. He was raised by a sociopathic mother, who has destroyed countless lives (emotionally and psychologically). I can't help but think that his upside down warped interpretation of "Love" and "Cruelty" was ingrained in him by his sociopathic mom, a betrayous woman who cheated on his father with wrecklous abandon and blamed it on him. I think my husband betrays his significant other emotionally and psychologically because of the type of person (monster) his mother is, and he actually calls this "love"
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